Apparently cookie monster is on a diet. Instead of being like "Yay cookies! I want to eat all the cookies in the world and then turn the world into a cookie and eat the world and then turn myself into a cookie and eat myself! COOKIES ARE MY MANA!!!" Now he's like "Cookies are alright, I guess. Eat them sometimes if you want. Be sure to eat your veggies kids. FML."
This may be old news to you guys, but I just found out yesterday, so bear with me in this time of change and total reexamination of my self-worth. I feel molested. It's like some creepy guy took over Sesame Street and now he's touching my childhood in its bad parts with his grabby no-no hands.Anyway, drawing pictures helps me deal with my life and how it was coddled and nurtured and then ruined by Sesame Street:
From the title of this post, I can only assume that this is your twisted way of telling us that you were diagnosed with MS. Just remember that I'm here to help. Seriously, I'll untext that $10 to Haiti and send it your way immediately if need be.
ReplyDeleteNext thing you know, they're going to tell us the Count doesn't drink blood anymore!Wait- I might be confusing him with someone else...
ReplyDeleteThe Count drinks - and always has drunk - Alphabet Soup.
ReplyDelete(Of course, having said that, I have no idea if Alphabet Soup in the US includes numbers as well as letters. If not, that joke doesn't work. But it works here. And is damn hilarious to boot.)
ReplyDeletei didn't read all these comments cuz quite frankly it's almost 3a.m. and i'm about to pass out from exhaustion...BUT I had to comment to say:your drawing = epic win for LIFE.also, i'm so tired that when i skimmed through bonequinhodasomthinorother's comment where they said "protest and survive"....I totally read it in my mind as "prostitute and survive" :-|should I be worried?
ReplyDeletethere are so many things wrog with this but that is why i love all of ur posts
ReplyDeleteI got pissed off when I heard about Cookie Monster too...your comics are priceless....
ReplyDeleteSigh. I think the writers forgot that he's a monster, not a role model. In all the years I watched Sesame Street I never once identified with the monsters. That's what all the kids are hanging around for, right?What's next? Oscar moving out of his trash can and into a recycling bin? Will he start being nice to people?
ReplyDeleteNoooooo! Not Cookie Monster! Why do people have to go and fuck with a good thing?They better not mess with Oscar too, or its war!
ReplyDeletebullshit. complete bullshit. and hey, aren't correct eating habits something the parents are supposed to teach their kids instead of sitting them in front of the tv and letting a blue monster do their dirty work? just sayin.
ReplyDeleteDID you really draw that Cookie Monster?!?!Seriously?!?!I bow to your MS Paint geniusness.
ReplyDeleteThey shud be hanged! Cookie Monster is one of the most epic characters ever created fr the children!!Who's running Sesame Street?!:oLord, the world is cmng to end!
ReplyDeleteHe was probably forced to do it to promote a good image after a stint in rehab. The dude had a problem and let's face it, cookies can fuck people up, that's not shit to mess with.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, highly amusing.But for all the vitriol it's generated in the comments, it's not actually true. I think it's a common urban myth, because I've heard other adults (who haven't watched Sesame Street in years) talking about how they've PC'ed the Cookie Monster and about how he eats vegetables now.It's entirely possible they had one Cookie Monster sketch where he talks about veggies. I've never seen it.But I have a toddler. I've seen plenty of Sesame Street in the past couple years. And Cookie Monster still eats a ton of cookies. This "Cabbage Monster" thing just isn't true.
ReplyDeleteIf you could make one of those for "The letter 'W'" that would be great.
ReplyDeleteIf you could make one of those for "The letter 'W'" that would be great.
ReplyDeleteIt's really not as bad as people make it out to be. Really, Cookie Monster just now eats everything with reckless regard for his waistline.FYI: new character on Strawberry Shortcake? Tangerina Torta. I only wish I were kidding.
ReplyDeleteI learned of this change in Cookie's diet on New Year's Day during the parade. The host - one of those beautiful people- commended Cookie on his healthy eating. I was like WTF! How can he be called Cookie Monster if he DOESN"T EAT COOKIES? They need to just retire him to florida now that he is 40 years old and bring on Veggie Not-Monster so that little kids will eat their veggies and NOT be afraid of monsters. Cuz we all know that having a 'Monster' as a role model for children is the next thing to get flack... so why not just nip it in the bud now?BTW- my kids are WAY past Sesame Street age so this will not affect them at all...their healthy appreciation of cookies, and monsters, remains intact.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't let my children watch SS anymore.
ReplyDelete*looks both ways* Sorry for mentioning it. Should have just let you keep living the lie.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty much the end of the world and civilization as we know it. How can you call him Cookie Monster if he craves veggies? What the fuck.
ReplyDeleteDidn't they change the name to Seasame Park too or something because they didn't want kids to play in the street? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO???
ReplyDeleteCookies are the food of the anti-christ. You would think it was "Devil's Food". Oh no. That is a just red herring - which I hear is good on toast points.
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh i felt the exact same way when i first found out i was flipping channels and saw cookie monster going mmmm carrots i wanted to throw up i was like no cookie m0onster what have they done to ypu in my mind its like they took him to a hospital beat him and altered his mind with some weird mind experiment im glad im not the only person who was upset by this
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