Thursday, May 13, 2010
Don't get excited, this is just an update...
I've been getting lots of emails with subject lines like "R U dead???" and "POST SOMETHING MOTHERF*CKER!" and "Wheeeerrrrrree aaaaaarrrrrrrre yyyooooooouuuuu???"I've been posting updates on Twitter, but Twitter is stupid and soulless and many of you (understandably) don't use it, so I thought it would be prudent to give you guys an update here as well. Okay, so remember when I almost died? That happened again, but not as bad this time. The last couple days have been like playing "Guess Who"with diseases, but I'm pretty sure my doctors finally figured out what's wrong with me and it probably doesn't have anything to do with my heart, which is good. The heart weirdness is most likely a benign genetic anomaly that is unrelated to the fainting, fevers, low blood pressure, and abdominal pain.Anyway, I finally decided to make a fan page for this blog on Facebook as a way to give updates like this without having to make a whole new post about it:http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hyperbole-and-a-Half/103009646411654 If you're looking for medical details, that's where they'll be posted. I'm doing it this way because I understand that some of you are squeamish and I didn't want to be like "Hey! Guess what's wrong with my organs?!" and then have you be all "Holy crap, why would you tell me that without any warning?"You're welcome. Edited to add: You can still view the Facebook page without having to get your own Facebook account. Yay! Also, there's a tab that let's you choose to see only comments from me or comments from everybody. If you're looking for information, it might be easiest to click the "Only Hyperbole and a Half" tab. In summary: Still not dead; will post soon.
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For some reason I could find everything except the actual explanation of what has happened to you, but I gather it has something to do with exploding lady bits.I am so, so sorry you have exploding lady bits, Allie. That really can't be fun.Don't you worry about your fans, here. Just get better. We'll keep checking in. My 11-year-old daughter and I will just wile away the time tahkahg lahk Spahgahtti Nahddle. Yes, I let her read your blog, but I made her promise not to use *those* words until she's 16.
ReplyDeleteI just found you, you can't be sick now. Sheesh. Get better soon. You make me and my entire office laF with delight.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you're still alive. I do know you're alive because your writing talent is better than that of the average zombie. If you were a zombie, I would have to call my friend and put our Zombie Apocalypse plan into action (yeah, we have one.) Which would probably involve your death, unless we could de-zombify you (we're working on it.) So in conclusion, stay alive. Yeah.
ReplyDeleteyay! Leee WUUUUV you!
ReplyDeleteI just ran across through random clicking of links and I'm glad you aren't dead.
ReplyDeleteOMG--I'm so glad you aren't dead! I have been blog-stalking you for a while now and when I didn't find anything new for you I admit that I was a little mad at you. I guess I have to forgive you now right?Please get better. Now.J Doe(But really, I'm so sorry you aren't feeling 100%, and I'm sorry I was mad at you for it! Can we be friends?)
ReplyDeleteI just discovered this blog, and now I feel all possessive of you. You can't leave! You are my favourite way to waste time! Death = not allowed.
ReplyDeleteDammit I knew that was a bullshit diagnosis.Get better or I'll come down there and kick your Dr's butt.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're okay, and I really hope they figure out what the hell is going on. Not having a diagnosis is enough to make a person go apeshit.
ReplyDeleteYay! You're alive! I am totally visiting your Facebook page!
ReplyDeleteOne time I passed out for what felt like no reason after walking down the street to get coffee, and an ambulance came and took me to the hospital, and the doctors told me I had a dangerously irregular heartbeat. I had to stay in the hospital for a day while they monitored me until some genius finally figured out that passing out had MADE my heartbeat irregular temporarily, and not the other way around. Maybe that's what happened to you? I'm glad you're feeling better now.
ReplyDeleteDear Allie, I'm glad you're not dead. The internet would suck a lot more if you were to leave us!And thank you for your facebook update page, twitter is evil, and I will not be a part of it, but, finally, now I can follow you on the (slightly) less evil facebook! WOOHOO!!!!
ReplyDeleteAllie, I blame BP. They are screwing up the ocean and your lady bits. Beware the oil glob ovary kryptonite. Get better. We miss you. BP sucks.
ReplyDeleteFeel better, Allie!
ReplyDeleteGood news! I am wearing my Bear Chips t-shirt in support of your recovery.
ReplyDeleteSO glad you're not dead D: Alot of people will miss you.And so will a lot of people.*cymbal crash in background*Feeeel better, Allie!And thanks so much for the Facebook page, as I'm not supposed to use Twitter... XD
ReplyDeleteJust started reading your blog like two days ago. It's awesome. I'm sure you know that, but I like to feel good about myself by telling you things that everyone is general agreement about.Also! What if the disease is really just your segway disease? To your brand new super powers? Of justice. Or flying, I think flying would be the way to go. Or you could be super lame like Jubilee and shoot lights out of your hands.I've got my fingers crossed that it's not one of the lame ones. For your sake. I mean, fireworks are cool two times a year? Flying and throwing shit at people from the sky is fun any time.Feel better!
ReplyDeleteI tried emailing you a hug...a totally platonic, not-stalkerish, hanging-you-on-a-hook-in-my-room-like-a-poster-of-my-favorite-band, hug, but my digitized self was too large to fit as an attachment, so I'll just leave a comment.I am really glad that you are not dead, 'cause that would really suck. Tell your body to stop trying to kill you. Offer your organs sweets and treats in return for good behaviour. Bribe them with dessert and designer tampons if you must.Remember, if laughter truly is/was the best medicine, all doctors would be Patch Adams...but..you know......funny. :DCreepy Hugs from Canada.
ReplyDeleteFeel better!I refound you from That Wife's blog. It's kind of awesome finding you all over the internet. I feel like a stalker ninja.(then again, this is also my first comment on your blog and you have to think I'm crazy nooooo)
ReplyDeleteomg wait...so your blog is funny, etc, blah, but I ALSO have "fainting, fevers, low blood pressure, and abdominal pain." but not the fainting. But the rest. I've never bothered asking a professional about them together though...and in isolation professionals don't find them very entertaining. I hope you find out what those are caused by and post it here so I can diagnose myself based on your diagnosis!
ReplyDeleteDang, Miss Allie.I'm really sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well lately. I hope this funkyness doesn't last too long and keep you feeling yucky. You deserve better, Wee-One!I keep forgetting about the Facebook page and oughta go there and wish you a speedy recovery. Every bit of concern helps the healing!Please get well, rest, and let the inner-bears work their juju-healing-majick...I have no idea...:/I just hope you get well!Best regards,-Cmonster
ReplyDeleteUm. I just noticed that every time I scroll to the bottom of your blog and see the friendly hairy dude that says hello, I say hello back.P.S. No more almost dying, please. Wait... Er...I don't mean that in the "almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades" way that means almost isn't good enough. I mean don't do anymore things that in anyway resemble the feeling or appearance of death or impending death.
ReplyDeleteThis might be a little... insensitive, given the circumstances, but are you aware that you just said, "...there's a tab that let us you choose to see..."?Is your grammar one of the organs affected by your disease cornucopia or just your fingers?;-)
ReplyDelete"disease cornucopia" - I like that.
ReplyDelete